Articles Published
HEALING THE INNER CHILD
St. Charles Herald-Guide
Most of our beliefs were handed down from parents,
grandparents, teachers, friends, relatives, religion, etc. We store these
beliefs and many negative events of our past in our memory. These uncomfortable
memories and programming of our past are referred to as our "inner child"
issues. These ingrained beliefs and events affect our decisions and choices in
our lives. By "healing our inner child", dramatic changes can occur
in our lives and future. But what is the inner child? It is that voice
from within yourself that has guided and directed you in many areas of your life.
Using an analogy of comparing our mind to a
computer, everything that has ever happened in your life is stored. Our
subconscious mind is the storehouse of all our life's events. Some
events at certain ages were traumatic and we have made decisions that trigger
our responses to situations that are similar.
In the book,
The Secret Life of the Unborn Child, Dr. Thomas Verny
states "We now know that the unborn child is an aware, reacting human being
who from the sixth month on (and perhaps even earlier) leads an active emotional
life". He also states that "The fetus can see, hear,
experience, taste, and, on a primitive level, even learn
in utero (that is, in the uterus -- before birth).
Most importantly, he can feel --
not with an adult's sophistication, but feel nonetheless". The
emotions of the parents during pregnancy can start shaping that individual in
both positive and negative ways. One of the earliest traumas in life is
the birth process itself.
In our current
life, our belief systems have changed, but if that computer virus is still
present, our lives are in conflict. If you are willing to get rid of
those old beliefs and responses, you can delete those viruses and reinstall
new programs to replace them and "heal the inner child".
Let's look at an example case. A 6 year
old middle child doesn't feel as loved as his siblings. He gets sick
and stays home from school. His mother gives him special care and
nurturing. He doesn't like to be sick but craves the motherly care
received. Later, he'll even fake illnesses to get mom's
attention and care. Later in life, he marries and his wife is not
giving him the care and love that he wants and needs. That
"inner child", the 6 year old, will now run his life and cause
illness to get attention. He is operating on that belief that
sickness brings special love and care. By healing the inner child
of this belief, the attention grabbing illness will not occur when the
craving for attention arises. In this example, the practitioner
would work with the client on removing the belief system that you had
to get sick to get attention and love from mom or other loved ones.
How do we heal the inner
child? Some people meditate and talk to their inner child.
Others rely on therapists or consultants to help them heal their
inner child. Some practitioners, including myself, have developed
systems to identify at what ages the inner child is currently running
our lives in certain situations. After identifying the ages,
the practitioner can use many different procedures or they can be done
in meditation later. Some of the most common techniques are:
1) let the inner child know that you love them, 2) acknowledge how
helpful the inner child has been in running your life up until this
present moment, 3) explain that the inner child did the best that they
could in making decisions based on their experiences in life, 4) tell
them how grateful you are for them being in your life, 5) let the
child know that you will always love and nurture them, 6) inform them
that you are the adult and that they will no longer make decisions in
your life, 7) give the child a warm hug and send the child off to
play and enjoy life, and 8) retrieving gifts and talents left in the
past.
I recently worked with a
woman in her 50s that had experienced severe PMS and painful periods
her entire life. I identified a belief system that had been
installed at age 13 from a traumatic event in her life.
Ironically, her menstrual cycle started at this same age.
The adolescent child had a virus installed in her computer, which
physically manifested in monthly discomfort. I had her talk
to that inner child and tell the child that it did not have to be
painful to be a woman. Since that session, the client has
reported that unbelievably, she has no PMS or mental mess associated
with her menstrual cycle. This is a great example of our
belief system affecting our health and well-being.
Disney produced a movie,
"The Kid", starring Bruce Willis that is a story of how
healing an event in the past, can dramatically affect our current
and future lives. I recommend viewing this movie for its
wonderful message.
As we
rescue, nurture and love our inner children, they no longer control
our lives. It is also important to understand we are
controlled by that inner belief system. In doing this,
we can truly forgive and love ourselves. It is time to let
go of the past and live happier healthy lives. Our futures
can be much brighter after healing the inner child.
John Detillier, Jr. is a personal
Consultant in Destrehan. You can reach him by calling
(985) 764-0160 or e-mailing john@clllc.com. His website
www.clllc.com contains testimonials and copies of previous articles.
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